


Fucked up Past Shit

by someb0ys



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Masturbation, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Frustration, Statutory Rape, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someb0ys/pseuds/someb0ys





	Fucked up Past Shit

It was a mishap. Thor brought some Asgardian alcohol that was tainted with Loki's mischief. Without knowing Tony tired some and altered his body back to a fifteen year old. His aches were gone and his vision was back to what it used to be. He couldn't look at himself in them mirror though and Steve didn't want to kiss him on the mouth anymore because it was 'wrong'. Tony's memories were all in place but his mental and emotional state was that of a teenager. The moment SHIELD caught wind of it there were agents constantly watching to make sure he didn't do anything with his suits but stayed on deadline for new products to SHIELD.

The lab was dark so the people hovering around him wouldn't be able to see his new form. Agent Coulson was sitting on a lab bench drinking some tea and reading. “Do you know how fucking hard this is to do when you're here?” Tony spat. He felt himself grinding his perfect teeth down, the teeth that took so much time and money to make straight again after his teen years of grinding them.

Coulson looked up from his book. “I'm sorry Stark, this is for your benefit and ours.” He looked to his watch; ten minutes after three in the morning.

“Bull shit, I promise not to take any of the suits. I-I just can't have you watching me. Lock the fucking lab if you have to!” Tony threw the stuff he was working on and turned his back to the shattering pieces of fragile metal that spread against the floor.

“This is exactly why we need to watch you right now. You're unstable Tony. Would you rather have Clint or Natasha watch you?” Coulson was trying his best to keep all parties happy but SHEILD, his job, comes first.

Tony pulled Coulson from his chair and grabbed fistful of his perfect suit glaring at him. “I don't want to be baby sat. I wasn't even baby sat when I was a child!”

“Hey, hey! What's going on here?” Steve voice pulled Tony's attention away from the SHEILD agent. Steve grabbed Tony's shoulder pulling him off the agent who was obviously holding back from putting the billionaire in a choke hold. “Tony,” Steve said softly.

Tony pushed Steve's arms off of him. He didn't like how small they made him feel. “I-I'm going to bed. Steve sleep in your old bedroom tonight.”

Steve's hands curled into tight fists but didn't follow. “I'm sorry Phil,” Steve said after Tony was already out of the lab. “I think he just needs to feel in control right now.”

Phil Coulson nodded. “I understand but I can't leave him unattended in here. I'm going to sleep on the couch in here, is that fine?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I'll get you some sheets.”

“Thank you,” Phil said before pulling out his phone. Steve got him some bedding and told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen before going up stairs to sleep. 

Steve followed Tony's rules and slept in his old bedroom. He didn't like it but he just wanted to make Tony as comfortable as possible. It was hard to fall asleep but somehow he managed. 

Steve jumped at the feeling of arms wrapping around him. He turned over seeing a young Tony nuzzled into his shoulder. “I'm sorry.” Tony whispered, his breathe smelled like alcohol. It was weird seeing him with no facial hair. (His goatee was patchy now so he decided to shave it.)

Steve turned around and wrapped his arm around him. He kissed his forehead causing Tony to roll his eyes. “I'm sorry too. I know this is hard for you.” Steve ran his fingers through Tony's hair prompting a needy whine from the teenager. Steve stopped immediately. “Do you want to sleep in here with me or go back to our bedroom?”

Tony nuzzled closer and bit Steve's neck right below his ear. It sent shivers down Steve's spine, it felt so good and it's been more than a month since they've had sex. “Tony please, don't.” Steve grumbled scooting a little away from him.

“I'm tired of coming in my hand. I'm a horny fucking teenager aren’t you suppose to help with that, boyfriend?” Tony shoved his boxers down rubbing his dick against his own palm. “One time, come on. Stop being grossed out by me. Please?”

Steve was curled up on his side away from him trying to focus his thoughts on the last meeting they had, to keep his mind occupied. He shook his head. “It's not that and you know it. I don't give a damn about your appearance.”

Tony groaned as he wrapped his fingers around his cock and gave himself teasing squeezes. “So what? You don't think I was mentally ready to fuck when I was a teenager? Cause guess what I was doing.”

Steve could feel the bed shaking in a gentle cadence which only meant one thing. He was half ready to jump out of bed to get away from the temptation but also half ready to turn the disobedient teenager over and fuck him into the mattress just to shut him up. “Not at fifteen and not with adults. Th-”

The shaking stopped. “Fuck you.” Tony rolled out of bed and started walking towards the door, his steps were messy from the alcohol. 

Steve wasn't sure if it was a mood swing or if he just royally fucked up. “Baby, come here.” Steve called sitting up in bed.

Tony turned towards him, fists balled up against his sides. “Try thirteen asshole and yeah sometimes they were adults.” His breathing became sharp inhales. “S-so just continue to judge me. I'll sleep in the bedroom.” His mind was taking Steve's words out of context, spinning them until Steve's voice was calling him disgusting and gross. 

Steve froze, staring at the small frame of his boyfriend as it began to shake. Months, they've been together months and Tony hasn't mentioned any of this. He never seemed all that interested in talking about his past sex life and Steve never cared that much to imagine him with anyone else so it went unsaid. Steve reached a hand out for him. “I love you.” He whispered his face was still blank, too deep in thought.

Tony took nervous fast steps into Steve's arms. “I'm sorry. But it should make you feel better about fucking me, right?” Tony's voice was muffled against Steve's collar bone. 

Steve decided it was best not to ask why he said he was sorry and just held him tighter pulling him up into his lap. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve's neck. Steve could feel the damp press of tears against his chest. “Can we talk about this?” 

Tony laughed, dry and bitter before wiping his eyes. “Not gonna happen. You'll just feel sorry for me and then you won't fuck me anyway.” Tony's voice cracked. It was just so adorable to hear a voice which is usually so smooth and seductive crack, bringing back every ounce of innocents to him for brief seconds.

“No Tony, I can't. Let's talk about it, alright? I won't feel sorry for you. I just want to know about it.” Steve was rubbing Tony's back, his hand filled a lot of the space, it was freaky. The blessing that Tony looked young for his age was now a curse, he could easily pass for thirteen or fourteen.

Tony sniffed back tears. “I'm not getting into it but um... It was a maid, she looked after me since I was little. Then a fucking tutor a few months later, he quit after that. I didn't need a tutor anyway though.” Tony bit his lip, his eyes were still gazing at the dark shadows of the room. “Then it was mostly older girls and then professors in college. I was fifteen then, discovered booze, that was pretty awful year for me.”

“It wasn't by force, right?” Steve asked, his stomach was in knots but remained calm, drawing circles in Tony's back.

Tony curled closer. “Which one?”

Steve kissed his temple but found out it was a mistake when Tony flinched. “Any of them?”

“No. The maid kept complaining about my sheets getting spunk on them so in my cocky way I told her to take care of it herself then, and s-she did. She said she thought about it a lot. The tutor apparently thought about it too because he kept asking if it was in 'one of his dreams'. It was gross and he wasn't gentle. Some of the professors started the sexual relationships, thought my ass needed to be put in my place. I'm sure you were talking about the adults and not the teenage girls.” The words from the people didn't taste right in Tony's mouth.

Steve kept his eyes open so the images didn't flood his imagination. “You didn't report them?”

Tony laughed, it was forced and didn't sound right. “I was okay with doing that stuff. So no, I didn't report them. I think I'm done talking about it, okay?”

“Sure but I want to talk about it more someday. I love you.” Steve let go of him and laid down on his back. His chest felt heavy now, especially for even thinking about having sex with him when he's like this. But it was different, he was older once and they were together for months and he still has his memories. Steve hoped it was different but something told him it didn't matter. Steve felt gross and no better than one of the characters of Tony's murky past.

Tony sighed. “Love you too. Well at least you got rid of my erection for me.” He followed as Steve laid back down and curled up on his chest.

Steve huffed and wrapped his arms around him. “I was in my very late teens when I had first had sex. Bucky.” He wanted to change both of their minds to something else.

Tony leaned up on his forearms, grinning. “Are you kidding?” He was sure Steve had sex with men before. Steve was just too comfortable at the beginning of their relationship not to have but since Tony never wanted to talk about his first experiences he never asked either.

“I had a crush on him for the longest time and I guess it was mutual. It was my first time for everything and it was his first time with a man. So there was a bit of a learning curve. I was so embarrassed.”

Tony brushed Steve's hair back from his forehead. “Why was that?” 

Steve rolled his eyes while smiling. “So he went first and was topping me, which was nerve-wracking but pretty okay for the first time. But then I was supposed to top him but as I was pressing inside for the first time, I came. Hard. I guess it was because the soft skin on soft skin was too overwhelming. Didn't even get in. He said I blacked out but I'm pretty sure I didn't. Like I said, embarrassing.” 

Tony laughed pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek. “That's sweet though. I don't think I'll ever look at Bucky the same. So he got you first that lucky bastard.”

Steve laughed. “I wasn't that great back then, since I was so fragile.” Steve never thought of himself as fragile, he was just saying the word that other people labeled him with but it didn't bother him.

Tony's fingers crawled up Steve's shirt craving skin on skin like they used to have. Steve didn't say anything making Tony relieved. He placed his palm against the center of Steve's chest, feeling the sturdy heartbeat. “You would have been so amazing though. All nervous and trusting. If you were like me right now would we have sex?”

“You mean if we were both mentally, emotionally fifteen and had bodies of a fifteen year old?” Steve asked his eyes finally feeling safe enough to shut his eyes without images. 

Tony's hand scratched at Steve's broad chest. “Yeah.” 

“You wouldn't like me all scrawny but yeah. I'd want to. It'd be neat to try it since you'd be bigger than me.” Steve murmured.

Tony moaned hiding his face in the crook of Steve's neck. “That'd be so hot. I'd fuck you propped up against a wall and hold you up there until you begged me to let you come. You with that determination of yours would take everything I gave you and then some.” Tony licked his lips before kissing Steve's neck.

Steve groaned. “That sounds good. I kinda bruised easily back then. It'd be nice to wake up and find bruises on my hips from you digging your fingers into them.” 

Tony nodded a whine forming at the back of his throat. “I'd like that. Fuck I'd like that. Steve, what if this never goes away?”

Steve started to rub Tony's back again. “It will, don't worry. Thor said the same thing happened to him when he was younger, remember? Lasted nine weeks for him. We can make it.”

Tony shook his head. “I can't. I'll go blind from masturbating so much. Three times today Steve, fucking three!”

Steve laughed. “It won't happen honey but if it does, it would make sex a lot more interesting.” 

Tony sighed. “Can we touch ourselves in the same room?”

Steve was quiet for a moment, thinking. “No, that doesn't seem appropriate. I'm sorry.” 

 

Tony groaned and laid his head on Steve's shoulder. “Fine. If I have a wet dream it's going to really bum me out.” Tony closed his eyes, his cock a little stiff from talking about sex so much but he ignored it.

“Sleep good Tony,” Steve whispered before falling asleep. 

Tony woke up first, he had morning wood pressing against Steve's side. He was so warm and comfortable but didn't want Steve to stop sleeping in the same bed as him. So he went to the bathroom and took care of himself, muffling his moans with one of Steve's shirts, to breath in his scent. After he finished he washed his face and went back to bed. Steve was already awake but pulled the blanket up so Tony could crawl in. “You okay?” Steve asked.

Tony nodded, closing his eyes again. “That was weird last night.”

Steve kissed his forehead. “Weird how?”

“I didn't think it was an issue until we were talking about it. Most people just say they were lucky or that I horny lucky kid or that it was hot sounding.” Tony sighed. “I don't think its an issue. Just some fucked up past shit.”

Steve ran his fingers through Tony's hair. “The professors, where did you do it?”

Tony shrugged. “Their offices most of the time. It wasn't many just like two maybe three. I love MIT and it wasn't the school's fault.”

Steve shook his head. “Kinda is the school's fault. Did um you guys use protection?”

“Sometimes? I was reckless Steve. But um, I've been tested of course and I'm completely clean. I wouldn't have had sex with you if I thought I-”

“Shut up I wasn't worried about that. I was just curious to see if they cared about you.” Steve's stomach was getting upset again.

“It was just sex. Just to disconnect from everything for a few hours. It was inappropriate but I didn't care.” Tony explained. 

Steve met eyes with Tony. “They should have cared though.” Tony tried to get up but Steve kept him close. “Don't get mad at me, I'm sorry.”

Tony groaned. “You're fucking with my brain. Stop making me a victim. Steve I'll talk about it with you if you want to know more but don't argue with me okay?”

Steve bit his tongue and nodded. “Why was it gross with the tutor?”

Tony rolled off him and onto his side. “Didn't use lube and wasn't properly stretched so I bled a little.  
Kept mumbling shit to himself. It hurt a lot and he made me come on his face.” Tony grabbed Steve's hand and rolled over away from him.

Steve followed wrapping an arm around him, spooning him. “I'm surprised you still wanted to be with guys after that.”

“The professor was nicer, taught me a few things and went slow. Can we stop? I don't want to bring it up again so give it at least a year or something okay?.”

Steve nodded. “Okay, that's fine. Do you want to go get some breakfast?” Tony nodded and wiped his eyes again. Steve pulled him up into his arms carrying him. “What do you feel like.”

“Grilled cheese and soup. It's already twelve anyway.” Tony wrapped his arms around Steve's neck. “I love you.” Steve opened the bedroom and started down stairs.

“I love you too.” Steve smiled kissing Tony's cheek. Tony brushed his knuckles against Steve's morning stubble. “Should I grow a beard?” Steve asked prompting Tony to laugh. Clint was sitting on the kitchen counter when they walked in.

“You guys are weird in the morning.” Clint muttered taking a sip of his black coffee.

Steve put Tony down and went to the cabinet for bread. “Oh thanks Barton.”

Phil walked in, grabbing the cup of coffee from Clint and made a face when he took a sip. “You need to add sugar to that.”

Clint kissed him. “That's why its my coffee.” He pulled a cup of coffee that was so pale with cream it could only be Coulon's cup. “Made it your way.” 

Tony poured himself a cup of coffee. “I have security cameras in the lab. I hope you both remembered that last night.” He felt better although out of place.

Steve hummed to himself while he made the grilled cheese. Tony watched him wondering if he thinks differently now about things. The thought seeded itself inside his head, he couldn't remove it even if he wanted to.

“Bruce wants to check on your vitals, see if anything has changed yet.” Coulson said leaning against the counter next to Clint. Clint was running his fingers through Phil's hair, taking advantage of the small period of time before Phil got ready and started caring about messing his hair up. “And yes, I remembered the cameras.” He smiled and took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “I disconnected them before I went to bed.” Clint snickered.

Tony sat down on the table. “I'm not sure I like having your boyfriend stay with us Clint.” He muttered.

Phil laughed. “Glad you won't miss me when you grow up then.”

Tony shrugged. “Na, I will. You've been like a father figure to me. Can I call you daddy?” He was wearing a wicked grin.

Phil's eyes widened and Clint cracked up laughing. “Yeah do that!” Clint laughed getting a elbow in the ribs from Phil.

“I would thank you to re-frame from doing that.” Phil murmured. It seemed like he walked in some inside joke between Clint and Phil. 

“Here, I did peperjack.” Steve placed a plate and bowl of soup in front of him. Steve sat next to him with a matching meal.

“Thanks Steve.” Tony said. They finished the breakfast and got ready for the day, taking separate showers which was rare for them. Tony headed down to the lab where Bruce was waiting for him. Steve was off to the gym letting off some stress.


End file.
